I thought I knew what to expect this second time around. My oncologist said that I should know my side effects now, but he warned that the fatigue and everything else might be worse.
I just had no idea how much worse. I don't think I've ever laid around and slept for so long as I have the past few days. I literally cannot get up to get ready, eat dinner at the dining table, or play with my kids. My stomach hurts from the anti-nausea meds and nothing tastes good or sounds good to eat. I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep some more. I hate that the first round set me up for thinking, "Awww this wasn't so horrible." That was a lie. It is horrible. I feel horrible. I look even worse. I look like a cancer patient now. My clothes are baggy and I just don't care. This is not one of my posts with a positive silver lining. This is 5days post treatment reality. I hate cancer because I didn't look sick or feel sick until the chemo made me sick. I hate that I'm not a good wife or mom right now. I can't do my share of anything. I know it isn't forever, but it sure feels that way now.
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Cancer sucks..... But the treatment sucks even more. You need the extra rest. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLaura, I'm so very sorry for how bad you feel. I pray for you and your beautiful family every day. They understand that you can't be 100% right now. It's their turn to give to you what you have given to them all these years, unending love.
ReplyDeleteLaura, I'm so very sorry for how bad you feel. I pray for you and your beautiful family every day. They understand that you can't be 100% right now. It's their turn to give to you what you have given to them all these years, unending love.
ReplyDeleteLaura, we are so glad you are here with us and fighting. Fighting now may look different than you expected but it means resting, getting as many nutrients as you can and allowing others to do for you. You are loved and covered in prayer sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteLove, hugs, and prayers!
ReplyDelete