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Monday, January 25, 2016

My Chemo Playlist

This has been an emotional journey so far. Music seems to be something that sometimes speaks to you in the most emotional and intense situations. Have you ever had the right song come one at the right time that just sums up all your feelings? I have. 

Here is my playlist and how it has progressed through the school year. I hope you hear something that speaks to you as well. 

Before diagnosis, my song was Renegades by X Ambassadors. The words and the beat just spoke to me. I used this song as a close reading/ writing from a poem or song for LITcamp. It's awesome!
One that has been a song that I go back to often has been The Hurt and the Healer by Mercy Me. Just listen to the words. God wants to heal his children.


Of course we can't forget Fight Song by Rachel Platten.
Oceans by Hillsong United is what I listened to as I cried the entire drive to get my port placed. It was the day that my cancer became a physical reality. 
I can't remember who sent this song to me, but it is beautiful. Just be Held by Casting Crowns.
Another X Ambassadors song made it to the mix. It sums up how much I am having to be vulnerable and lean on others around me. Unsteady

One that I love that just puts me in a good mood is Lovely Day by Bill Withers. You can't help but sing along. 

My final song was added today. It is one that Joan Lunden mentioned in an article where she talked about Triple Negative Breast Cancer. Beautiful by Carol King.
Enjoy and I hope you found something that may have spoken to you. 

Sunday, January 24, 2016

It's Harder Than it Looks


So this is the work that goes into concealing the real face of cancer. A little over three months into chemo and I am down to a few eyebrow hairs and eyelashes.

It's harder than it looks to get ready in the morning. You have to draw/paint on your eyebrows and master fake lashes. Fake lashes take more practice than I ever imagined. I've found some that I like but it still takes forever in the mornings. For those of you that say, "Man, you look great!" you don't see the starting point in the morning. Praise the Lord that I loved makeup before all this!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Ignorance is Bliss...Until it Isn't

Is this not the most beautiful wreath ever? Dori O'Neal made it for me. She took care of my cousin's twins as if they were her own since they were born and has been a part of their "framily" (My word for those friends so close that they may as well be related.) I love it, thank you for blessing me, Dori.


So I've heard that ignorance is bliss. Sometimes it is, but often it is a coping skill for denial.

When I was first diagnosed in October, all I could do was focus on the task at hand...and that was chemo. What would it be like? When will my hair fall out? Will I be able to work? What should I expect? How will my family and friends handle this? My world was full of questions and I could only really focus on that aspect of my cancer.

Sure I knew I was triple negative and that I didn't have any markers for hormone receptors. (That means that my cancer is not fed by hormones.) I bet you didn't know that there were multiple types of breast cancer? Neither did I until you're in it, or know someone who is. All this time, I've convinced myself that triple negative is the "easier" of the two. I won't have continued chemo pills, no port, no Herceptin for 5 years. When I'm done with all the chemo and surgeries, I'm done, or so I thought...

I finally started researching triple negative breast cancer. Here are some facts and tidbits. I know my cancer responds to chemo best because of its grade, but is also the kind more likely to reoccur in other parts of the body. After talking with my oncologist today and asking about how we go about screening for cancer over the next 5 years, the answer was vague. There are no tried and true ways to scan other than mammograms. The problem is that TNBC often shows up in other parts of the body, like the liver, bones, etc. I am worried that I will be hyper sensitive to every little ache and pain. Who knows? Maybe ignorance was bliss. 
What Is Triple Negative Breast Cancer Infographic

 

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