I Hate My Foobs!

You may be asking yourself, “What are foobs?”

Well, foobs are what us ladies who have undergone mastectomy and reconstruction call our fake boobs.

 Fake + boobs = foobs.

I remember when I was just starting treatment and I thought to myself, "Hey, at least I'll get some perky boobs!" You assume, one or two surgeries and done. But no, the surgeries and revisions seem to never end. For a while now, I’ve not liked my implants. Granted, when I was getting ready for the mastectomy, I convinced myself that my new fake boobies would be beautiful and amazing. I was sure wrong.

You see, when women who haven’t had a mastectomy get implants, they have breast tissue to sit on top of the implants and pec muscle. When you have a mastectomy, the only thing covering the implants is a thin layers of skin and part of the pec muscle. So all ripples show and the strange plastic feeling of the implants can be felt easily. My breasts are cold, again, only a thin layer of skin cover them. They don’t move or look like real breasts when they aren’t covered with clothes. I also now have symmastia (basically, a uniboob) and my implants have rotated so they look lumpy. Needless to say, my confidence is shaken by the fakeness of these foobs.

And it’s a God thing that I’m moving down the path I’m now headed. I was all ready to get my 3-D nipple tattoos when my left implant rotated. I knew something wasn’t quite right. So I made an appointment with my plastic surgeon. Yep, I needed a revision. But I had started thinking about another procedure that I dismissed while making my initial decision. DIEP flap surgery. Basically, you are cut hip to hip and the plastic surgeon uses your tummy fat and blood vessels to create new boobs. It's about a 6-8 hour surgery, 5 days in the hospital, 2 days in ICU BUT the benefit is that it is my tissue, it moves, is warm, ages with me, and I probably won't need but a couple of surgeries. I started shopping around for a plastic surgeon who was a master at this procedure as it requires the doctor to be a microsurgeon. Through one of my "breasties" I found my surgeon.

 I am excited to start this journey to maybe feel a little more like myself. Soooo, of course, I am no easy case. But my super thoughtful PS wants to start with a first procedure tomorrow. He will remove the implant, the capsule surrounding it, fix the symmastia and put in expanders...again. Then later in the fall, I will have the big surgery. Summer and the time before school starting is my busiest and I just can't take off during that time.

So wish me luck, say a prayer, as I embark on my fifth reconstruction surgery!

Warmly,
 Laura